Oh Life.

Well, obviously I suck at this blogging everything day. BUT at least I am writing one. So I left off last time starting me new job. I had my first week and loved it ! Everyone is SO nice and its a great place to work. I'm still a little bored, and haven't really gone out or met a lot of people, I hope that changes though because I am starting to feel super sad and missing everyone, I know that I can get past this but its hard sometimes not seeing your life long friends, or family. I just need to push forward.

Anyways, so whats been happening. Well funny story, I live with 5 other people. 3 of them being family. So one of the guys who rents a room downstairs is super attractive, he has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. And the other one is nice, but hes not as friendly. So this weekend I had no plans and Friday night I got home and my little cousin was having his birthday party, and there were lots of young kids here. And my one roommate was on night shifts and the good looking one usually goes back home for the weekend. So I was a little sad I wouldn't see him around all weekend. So I came home and his car was here so I was a little happy. Anyways I was super exhausted and went to bed around 11pm. I got woken up at 3am.. I was sound asleep and I hear "Nicole Nicole wake up" and here I am like "WTF" so its the good looking roomie. I was like this really cannot be happening right now. I don't really know him that well and he wasn't taking me not getting up for and answer. So I got up put on a sweater tried to look half decent and went into his room and sat on his bed and we talked til 7am. He was pretty drunk but he did sober lots. I learned lots about him, he love his mom more than anything which is super cute. Anyways, its like 7am I am super tired and he looks at me yawning and hes like "I'm going to ask you a blunt question" and he pauses and I am like.. Okay what his he going to ask, so many things go running through your head. He turns and looks at me with his beautiful eyes and hes like "Do you want to cuddle" I actually burst out laughing and had to nicely say NO.. Which sucked ass.. Seriously.. like.. baah. I don't know what I said it. But I didn't want some awkwardness the next day, plus we all know what cuddling means.. Even though he did say "Nothing sexual will happen" but lets get real. Plus the fact my cousin comes downstairs sometimes and wakes me up wouldn't have been good if I wasn't in my bed.. Kind of awkward. So I went to tell my older cousin and shes like "Did you sleep in his room.. I heard you guys talking all night" SO awkward. Anyways needless to say I am kind of regretting not cuddling. But I was told I am NOT allowed to cuddle and not to think I am allowed. We shall see what happens.

So lets talk about S, well we haven't seen each other besides one time we went for Slurpee's. But he is now back home visiting his little boys I just don't know if it would ever go anywhere. So that's all for now.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Love and Light

NC

That's what I love about Sunday

Well hello there. I am seriously going to make it a goal to start bloggin each day even if its just a little one. SO much has happened since I last blogged, life is so exciting.

Well lets start off with the fact I am really liking living in this smaller town. Its exciting meeting new people and finding my way around places. I also have had 5 interviews since I got here just over 2 weeks ago, as well I have got hired for a job and quit a job within a week for a new job. I got hired at Sobeys being a cashier, not the most ideal job but I figured I should take it and still look for something better. I had to beg her to pay me more than 12 an hour, seeing as I know first hand I am worth WAY more, so she offered me 14 an hour. In the meantime (I only worked 3 shifts at Sobeys and they were only 4 hours each) I continued to look for a better paying job that would have better hours and better suite me. So I applied at tons of places and finally got a call back. I went for my interview and it was amazing. You know when you meet someone for the first time and it feels like you've known them forever ? You can see the warmness in that person. Well that was my interview, we got along super well (which is great cause he is now my boss) we laughed, we also had lots of things in common, one of them being KARAOKE. I LOVE KARAOKE. I haven't gone to karaoke since moving, and I've wanted to meet people who have a love for it as well, well it turns out my new job and my new family I'll be working with, they go out every weekend to karaoke all together. PERFECT. Also, I work Monday to Friday 11-8pm have an hour lunch, no weekends, have a nice discount and make 18 bucks an hour. A much better upgrade from bagging groceries at Sobeys.

I also went out for the first time here the other night with my cousin and her coworkers. I had a blast, got way too drunk, danced alone like an idiot, talked to people, and met a cute boy. We will call him S. So I don't really recall how I started talking to S, but I ended up taking his blackberry and scanning my bar code into his phone. Then we left the place we were at and I woke up the next morning thinking "my god I feel horrible, obviously last night was good" I am still a little sceptical on it though ha ha. So I look at my phone (which had died) I plug it in and notice I have a new bbm. Its from S, saying "Morning Beautiful, hope you're not feeling to horrible today. I hope I can get the chance to take you on a real date" HOW CUTE. And he is super cute, and such a sweetie, we have been talking nonstop since yesterday morning. So he invited me over last night cause his parents were having a BBQ and a fire, I didn't go because I thought "I don't really know him its a little late and although I'm sure I'd be fine I am not a risk taker" So I nicely declined. But every Sunday his family all gets together and has big Sunday dinners and plays games which I think is super cute. So he invited me.. So this has now reassured me he isn't married or seeing anyone. Oh he is from Ontario and is out here to work. He is 29, and has 2 little boys. Although the kid thing is a little weird too me, he was super honest about their Mom. So I figure why not give him a chance ? I do love kids, and he isn't looking just to hook up which I like. I hate when you're talking to a guy and they say sexual things or make themselves seem like they only want one thing, and he hasn't done that. He seems super respectful.

So I start my new job tomorrow, and I am super excited. So I imagine I will blog about my first day and about how today goes with S. Also just wanted to give a little shout out to my BFF. I love and miss you, and can't wait til I see you soon !! And I think you and your boy are super cute. I found the picture up top and it made me think of you, and how much I miss our silly Friday nights.

That's all for now ladies, I WILL be back. Promise.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Love & Light

NC

One step at a time

Happy Thursday

Today for me was an excellent day, I had 2 interviews. Although I have already got a job I am still looking as the job I took isn't 100% what I want to be doing, but it is still a job.

I also am a little more familiar with where I live now and we started doing my room today, so I am hoping that its done early next week.

So today I wanted to talk about steps.

The steps we take daily to make ourselves happy.

Make our friends and family happy.

The little steps we take that have a big impact on our future.

So I will break down some of my steps for you.

Step 1 : Doing what I need to do

Step 2 : Feeling 100% happy with my choices

Step 3 : Knowing I am loved & supported in what I am doing

Step 4 : Not letting fear control my future

Step 5 : Knowing at the end of the day, my life is about ME & no one else

Step 6 : Not letting someone else influence the things I want in life

Step 7 : Living everyday like its my last

Step 8 : Knowing that at the end of the day I only have myself

Step 9 : Being grateful for what I have and what I love

Step 10 : Only letting my happiness come first

Well there you have it, the steps I am living by I hope you can all live life the way you want. Life isn't always about doing what everyone else thinks is right but doing what you know is right.

Light & Love

xoxo

NC

Always Sometimes Never

Happy hump day everyone !

I have been told I need to blog more. So I shall.

Plus having some followers would be cool as well.

Update : Since moving, it will be a week tomorrow !! I got a job  I start Monday. It's not exactly the job I came up here looking for, but its a start. I am excited, but I am still looking in the mean time for better paying jobs as I think I deserve more :)

Always ? Sometimes ? Never !

I always : Think about you & miss you

I sometimes : Think we will grow apart

I never : Listen to myself because I know that we will always be BFF

I always : Clean up the kitchen after I cook for everyone

I sometimes : Wish my younger cousins would help

I never : Ask them to help me, because I feel its my job to do

I always : Laugh at myself

I sometimes : Think I may be the funniest person alive

I never : Take myself to seriously

I always : Know at the end of the day I made the right choice moving

I sometimes : Get lonely and miss my friends and seeing my dad

I never : Really am lonely because I am with my family all the time

I always : Want the things I can't have

I sometimes : Wish I could have everything

I never : Allow my wants to out weigh my needs

I always : Watch Gossip Girl on Monday

I sometimes : Want it to be on for 5 hours instead of 1

I never : Like how they leave you guessing for a week

I always : Crave eggs

I sometimes : Think I could live on them

I never : Think its a good idea to only eat them

I always : Second guess myself

I sometimes : Think I make horrible choices

I never : Allow the feeling of fear control me

I always : Want to shop

I sometimes : Buy things I don't need

I never : Return things

I always : Say I love you to my friends

I sometimes :  Think I love my friends more than I love myself

I never : Forget to tell people what they mean to me

What I'm Loving Sunday

Good morning lovely ladies !

Well first I'd like to say I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and I apologise in not having more posts this last week, but it has been a crazy last few days.

I thought today I'd do a blog of what I'm loving today.

I'm loving the beautiful sunshine

I'm loving my little cousins

I'm loving being in a new place

I'm loving spending time with family

I'm loving the new love of my life Peanut (my cousins dog)

I'm loving walks around my new home

I'm loving how excited I am to finish my new room

I'm loving my friends back home

I'm loving talking to my Twin everyday

I'm loving movie nights with my cousin and her friends

I'm loving be asked advice by my cousin

I'm loving laughing

I'm loving feeling happy

I'm loving the fact I get to meet so many new people

I'm loving having PVR.. BEST thing ever

I'm loving tomorrow is Monday

I'm loving how Peanut sleeps with me every night and keeps me company

I'm loving how much everyone loves each other in my new home

I'm loving feeling like i belong somewhere.

Well ladies there you have it, what I am loving today. I suppose I should fill you all in. Well I recently just moved 9 hours from home to my cousins house. It was a very rushed last minute choice I made, but I knew I had to make it so that my life could be where I want it to be. Things just weren't going so well for me at home and I needed to break a bad cycle or else my life wouldn't ever be as good as I know it can be. So within 2 days I had all my stuff packed and was here at my new home. I'm living with my cousin Nellie and she 3 kids. So I have been spending lots of time with my younger cousin Tyra (14) and Dustin (11) my other cousin is currently living with my Aunt 13 hours away. So its a little hectic. I have also not really lived around kids or animals in such along time I was worried I might be bad at it. But my cousins dog Peanut has taking a huge love to me, and sleeps with my every night and has even stopped sleeping with my cousin since I got here, but its cute, he sleeps under the blankets and when you wake up in the morning he attacks you with kisses. We also have a cat and a lizard.. Not such a fan of the lizard but that's life. Anyways everything is wonderful down here, I am just going to go hard and get a job this week and start working and saving money. I am super excited for everything ! I don't plan on going home until July to visit everyone. And although I don't have any friends here I still talk my friends who are far away tons so it doesn't even feel like I left.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend !!

Love and Light

NC

xox

YOU matter so much to me, YOU have no idea

So as I write this, I have tears running down my cheeks ; Not because I am upset, unhappy, or depressed but because in this moment sitting here thinking about everything it has hit me really hard that when I wake up tomorrow morning my life will change.  I'm not scared or worried for all the things in life that I know I will accomplish, the things I've always wanted to do for myself. I am sad because even though I am only going maybe 12 hours away the most, I feel like I am leaving the most important person in my life back here where I have called home my whole life. I am sure that many of you can relate you having someone amazing in your life, someone who not only sees in you what you'll never see in yourself, but someone who knows every thing about and still loves you. Its not just that I am leaving my BEST FRIEND. I am leaving my sister, my twin, my soul mate. I know that it will only be a short time again until I see her again. But until then, let me explain all the reasons why I love my twin, why its so hard to be apart. It all began back in high school, and as much as I don't want to admit it, I was a geek. I didn't really do my makeup I tried super hard to make people like me, I wanted to be popular and cool and had no confidence in myself. I remember the day it all changed. I took the bus home everyday after school, and had seen this girl around school who talked to people I kind of knew, yet I hadn't ever talked to her. You see the thing was when I saw her I thought "Oh wow, she is SO cool we wouldn't ever be friends". Well that all changed one day on the bus after school. I got on the bus like I had everyday after school, heading to the mall to go work my shitty paying part-time job at A&W.. SO lame, but yes that was my first job, and I was proud of it. Well on my journey to the mall that day I sat down on the bus and to my surprise this super cool popular girl was also on the bus. I was not at the time one to initiate a conversation with someone I am not comfortable around or didn't know well. But to my surprise she talked to me. I couldn't even tell you what we talked about but I remember how i react after it. After work I got home and told my Mom the coolest, most popular girl EVER talked to me on the bus and I was going to sit with her at lunch. So I sat with her at lunch, and we built up a ever lasting friendship, we literally realised how much we had in common, music, boys, clothes, jokes, our humour is still to this day the same, we even worked together at a movie theather for along time. As we grew up we drifted a little apart, but always would still talk and catch up. She went and lived life different than I lived mine, which was okay I think it helped us build our friendship because we both went through hard times but still remained close and vented to each other. In the last 3-4 years we have grown together so much. We have been put in situations where people have tried to crack our friendship, people have taken sides against either one of us, but never once have we thought about not being friends. We do EVERYTHING together, I am not even kidding. We can spend a Friday night in the house dying our hair, painting our nails, laughing and watching stupid TV shows. We also think the same things at the same time, and say the same things, and laugh the same. We are attached at the hip. And we get told all the time we look alike, or asked if we are sisters. We can have fun anywhere we go, shes basically the only friend I need. People might not ever understand our friendship, and that's okay, because we understand it. She is an inspirational, beautiful, confident, outgoing, funny, crazy, goofy, goal orientated, out spoken, nice, caring, reliable, and amazing woman. I wouldn't trade her for the world. She can see things in me, I don't even see in myself. When I feel like giving up and treat her crappy and take out my problems on her, she doesn't fight with me or turn away but supports me. She lets me vent, lets me cry, lets me laugh. And if I feel like I'll never laugh again, she uses her humour and makes me laugh. She sees the best in people, even when they don't deserve it. And I know that no one else will ever come into my life and replace her, she is always going to be the twin sister I never got to have (I was actually a twin which is crazy, and my mom lost the other twin halfway through the pregnancy and I was the stronger twin and survived) maybe she is my Angel, protecting me making sure I am okay. Whatever she is, she is my best friend. I know that everyone can say they have the most amazing friend in the world, but I beg to differ, because you've never met my best friend. People might think we are crazy, we make up the dumbest shit together, laugh at the stupidest things but it works for us. We can go without makeup, wearing sweats, to tan. We both give each other different things in a friendship, but I can honestly say that if I didn't have her, I'm not sure how many times I would have given up on everything. Its nice to have someone in your life who makes you want to reach your dreams, they support you. I am truly blessed to have her.

As I currently get ready to leave on this life changing move to find myself and discover everything I want in life and out of myself. I know that she will read this, and possibly have tears in her eyes. But she will always know I am here, a BBM, FB, phone call away. Plus, I hope she does feel her heart strings tug a little. You see, we decided to be fun and have something to look forward to we would write back and forth in a journal and send to each other after we have written in it. I know, sister hood of the travelling journal ha ha. But what I didn't expect was her to give me the journal and had already wrote in it. It brought tears to my eyes. Her encouraging words and love that came through on the page really touched me, and made me realise as hard as this might be to be away from everyone in a new place, with no friends it won't be so hard. Because I've got her.

I guess what I am trying to say is ; Twin, NEVER change, ever. For anyone, because you are the most perfect, beautiful person I have ever had in my life. We are going onto 7 years into our wonderful friendship, but I know one day we will be sitting on the front deck in rocking chairs bitching about our husbands and kids, probably listening to rap music, drinking Slurpee's in our sweat pants ha ha. I love you with everything I have, all my heart and soul.

Don't ever forget it ! You've always got me.

Light&Love

xoxo

NC

When life has got you down - just get back up

Well hello that. Happy Easter to everyone. I haven't blogged in awhile. For those of you who follow me (which isn't many) I should really work on that. But I had a blog posted about kind of fighting with a friend, everything is okay with her now. I am very happy for that. But the rest of my life has kind of gone down hill. Sadly, I know longer have the "dream job" I always wanted, as I was let go about 2 weeks ago. It was super depressing and sad, and now nothing seems to be going my way. As my dad has now decided to move out and go to the Yukon or Alaska.. Whichever he wants. And I am now left with a lease, and need to find someone else to move into my house. On the plus side I applied for a few more jobs, one being a job where I'd be gone for 4 months but have the opportunity to make a lot of money. So I am hoping for the best, but right now life feels so downhill and upsetting.

I've cried a lot in the last two weeks, even though I have seemed normal too my friends I'm really not at all. I really hope that I can get through this. I feel lonely and depressed. I just don't know what to do, all I know not to do is not to give up. I wish my life was a movie, and it wouldn't suck so much right now. But everything in life happens for a reason, so I hope that it all gets better ! I will update everyone when I know whats going on. Until then cheers and have a great week ladies.

Also here are some pictures from the weekend !!

 Me and my friend Kayla

 Me & my BFF

And this when we started pre-drinking at 5pm on Saturday.. what an interesting night to say the least.

We did have a ton of fun, and not talking to her for a few weeks was very hard, we had SO much fun together, and after this weekend I figured out  that she may actually be the only REAL friend I have I don't ever want to go again without talking to her. Love you babe !!

NC