Friday, 14 September 2012

Cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile

Have you ever met someone and knew instantly that you liked everything about them. When they say your name you can't see or hear anyone else but them ? When they smile at you, it melts your heart. When they hug you its the best part of your day. When they want to hangout with you and you feel like the luckiest person in the world. When you're with them and they make you laugh, you feel happier than you ever have in your whole life. When they look at you, you finally understand the true meaning of someone whose beautiful inside and out. Everything they do makes you like them more and more. You can actually for once be yourself around them.
Well let me tell you about this guy I know. I feel like we all have that one guy in our lives that makes you smile even when you're not with them. Even if they aren't "yours". You can't explain how you feel to other people because you're scared if they realize how great he is they will want him to. Lets call him S. And no this isn't the same S from previous blog posts. He has to be the most amazing boy I have ever met. I knew from the moment I met him that I would like him. This all started just over 4 months ago. When I met him at work. I didn't really know him because we both worked in different areas. But I noticed him. For the longest time I thought he was dating one of the girls at work, so I didn't do anything or say anything to anyone. I remember the day I got his number, I actually asked for it. We were at a BBQ with a bunch of coworkers and he went to leave and me having a few drinks in me said "Hey we should hangout sometime, whats your number ?" needless to say, it worked and we exchanged numbers. I also thought it would be a good idea to just spill the beans with a "Hey I think you're super cute and I had to tell you, I have the biggest crush on you" text.. The next day getting ready for work I was like OMG no, why did I do that ? We didn't really talk much that day. I would go out of my way to avoid him. So finally I was like this is stupid and just texted him and made everything good. We casually started to talk more. He invited me out one night with everyone, and that was the first night I truly got to know him. We danced together, had some drinks. It was cold out that night and I had left my purse and coat in his car so when we were outside he hugged me to make me warm. A girl came up and said we were the cutest couple ever.. We both laughed and said no we were only friends. At that moment I thought to myself. DO NOT FALL FOR HIM. I saw him as such a good friend at this point. I ended up getting a new position at work as did he. So now we see each other lots. He helps me out all the time, we talk all the time. Hangout tons. Go on all our breaks together. Car rides. We even sing to each other. I just feel like I am the happiest and luckiest girl ever when I am with him. Now, as great as this all sounds, I also have been hiding my feelings. Everyone calls us out on it and askes "when will you two just date ?" "Its obvious you guys like each other" But we play it cool and just deny it. So I couldn't take it anymore. I have gone a few real dates since I have known him. He met one of them at a going away party and hated the guy and told me not to ever date him. And I have met another guy, hes super sweet and we went on a really nice date. But its not far to keep doing this knowing I have feelings for someone else. It just isn't. So I told myself I had no other choice but to tell him how I truly felt. So I did. We were out for drinks with a bunch of, and all of them always make comments about us and how we like each other. Heck his roommate was even there and she asked me how I felt about him and I lied and said he was just a friend. So we're all dancing and me and him leave to go get another drink. I thought hey this is a wonderful time to spill the beans. So I just came out with it and said "you're great I love hanging out with you" he agreed and said the same thing about me. So we went outside together, and I just sat down and looked away. He asked me what was wrong and I said "can I be honest with you ? I just.. I really really reallly reallly realllly like you, I have these stupid feelings for you and I think you're amazing and I just have to tell you" He didn't really say a lot. But he did say he liked me too but he didn't want to do this well we were both drinking. I felt as though he only said it to make me feel better, but who knows. We went back inside and everyone was still dancing. We were just standing at the table and I looked at him and asked him to hug him. So he did. But he also kissed me, and we just made out. His roommate came up afterwards and said "I thought you didn't like him" well, obviously I lied. Because I am falling for this boy and I just don't know what to do :(.
Everything seems to be good. And I said sorry for my actions and he was fine. Everything seems normal, but who knows.. I guess I will once I see him at work. I just haven't felt this way about someone for so long... Dang you feelings you really suck.

No comments:

Post a Comment